Friday, 19 September 2014

A letter to my 20 year old self

Kendal recently wrote 'A letter to my 18 year old self' and so I thought I would do the same, only I'm 17 now and my 18th birthday isn't that far off. Instead, I'm going to write a letter to my 20 year old self. Have a go at writing a letter to yourself in a couple of years time - it might help you put some things in perspective. This should be... interesting... to say the least. 

I'll link to Kendal's letter here

Hi Future Me,

So, you're 20 now, huh? I bet you thought you'd never get into university, but here you are. Two thirds of the way into your Philosophy and English Literature course. Did you get into Bangor? Or did you decide on Birmingham instead? Either one is fine, by the way, I'm not judging you. Let's just hope you've actually made a few friends from all of that baking you've been doing for them. And if you think they're just there for the cake, they probably are.

If you're in a relationship, I'm extremely surprised and you will be too I suppose. I never cared for romance as a 17 year old but maybe you are different and have grown to understand the advantages of late night cuddles and knowing another person all too well. Whoever it is, they must be a saint to put up with your fascination in Philosophy and your annoying habit of wanting to tell everyone something you've just learnt in that subject. Either that or they're just here for the great cake.

About the anxiety thing... don't worry about it. That's the worst thing to say to somebody with anxiety I know, and maybe you've 'grown out of it' by now, but if you still have it and all the weird things it does to your body then there's always something you can do about it. In fact, as I'm writing this letter things have been going a bit better - but I don't want to jinx it. I suppose I'll know if I've jinxed it in three year's time when I read this letter.

I hope you stay in contact with at least a couple of your old school friends, because it would be a shame to wipe out all of those great memories you have with them. Some of them will have definitely been your friend because they saw you at school five times a week, and some of them will have been there for the long haul. Either way, I hope you know who your true friends are now.

Do you still watch all of those youtubers you watched three years ago? Do you go to Summer In The City every year with Kendal? Have you been to Vidcon yet? Are the family members that are alive now still alive? I hope the answer to all of those questions is YES.

I don't even have to ask you if you're still blogging, because the answer to that is obviously a yes. Your life dramatically improved for a number of reasons when you made this blog so you'd be a fool to give it up now. 

I'm guessing you are no longer on a chocolate ban as you are as I'm writing this - in fact, you've probably just dipped your spoon in a jar of Nutella that you call 'dinner'. You have probably dip-died your hair blonde (or perhaps blue if you were feeling adventurous? I know that was always a little teenage dream of your's) and have your hair almost down to your bum, and love your mint-green tea and weird clothes. If you have your mother's eyes, you will have glasses by now, but that's fine because it makes you look more geeky, which is totally the look you're going for. And most of all, you still love books, and is known in university as that strange girl who is always reading books.

We've been through a lot these past five years or so, and I don't have to tell you why because you're me so you already know. But at age 17, it is getting better, you are getting stronger, and you are beginning to feel okay. And for us, that's a pretty big step.

I'm going to end this letter now because you're getting freaked out about the accuracy of it all, I can tell by the look on your face. Remember, your 17 year old self is rooting for you and even though you don't like sushi now your taste buds will change and you will be the cool kid you always dreamed of being. Except not as mean as the cool kids you went to school with.

Lots of love,
17 year old you x


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