I write to you as a 16 year old teen who has just finished GCSE and has stumbled through her first week of A Level. I don't know if you'll remember how you felt at this point but it kinda sucks because, honestly, the answer is you feel pretty damn scared.
You, on the other hand, are 18. An adult.
That's not to say I want you to be able to say you have it together, far from it in fact. I just hope you're happy and, if that is not the case, then I hope you are on your way to being happy.
When I read this in two years, i will be either going to university or not. I have no idea what you'll be studying or where but i hope you chose well and for you (for once).
Seriously, if you change your mind about what you want to do, it's okay. i think someone might need to tell you that even if it is just me. Nothing is permanent and you are still young and can still choose to do whatever the hell you want.
That said, there are a couple of things i would be really grateful if you had done or are doing at 18
1) Learn to drive
For the past 16 years you have lived in village with only one bus service which goes to only two places and even those places don't have an amazing train service. Consequently, you're relying on your parents to transport you places/train stations and the guilt is real. Plus, if start driving it'll hopefully be a lot easier to see old friends (and god knows you miss them) because you wont have to wait for an hour after school finishes to get the train home therefore you will get homework done earlier and, as a result, have more free time. See, it'll all work out. (i'm saying this like learning to drive will be easy...whoops)
2) Save up money
Like, please could you maybe have £500 in the bank for once because that would be pretty damn great. It's ambitious for us, i know, but you'll probably thank yourself for it when you're in university (or not..i don't know).
Under this i feel i need to tell you that if you are still buying books when you have books to read then you need to stop and re-evaluate your spending. Seriously. This a major problem already.
3) Don't Quit Horse Riding
I know this has crossed your mind occasionally but i can't allow you to do that. Cut down on lessons if you must but don't quit altogether EVER. i know it might have been hard to find a balance sometimes but having to find a balance is probably better than just working solidly and not needing to balance.
This may just be me and my post-high school mindset but i hate not seeing people from high school everyday.
Those people made those 5 years great and without them it would've been miserable, as cheesy as it sounds. So, please don't neglect friends when the workload gets tough.
Make time for fun and happy times because work sucks.
That being said, i would really appreciate it if you kept up the whole 'do work as soon as it's set' thing that you've been doing for the past week because this is so much less stressful and that would *probably* leave more time for life.
5) Don't give up
It's okay to change your mind and decide to do something completely different and change whatever life plan you have, just do it for the right reasons.
it's getting too hard? no one said life was easy and if you wanna go places then it's going to get hard. really hard.
but, if your not happy doing what you're doing then it's time to change your life so that you are happy which, admittedly, may be easier said than done but make changes for the long term and focus on being happy
Now i've got that out there, you're probably sat there judging your own grammar and mistakes and thinking that you were a total idiot but you can carry on with your life.
Good luck pal.