Saturday, 2 June 2018

A Poem About Anxiety

Hi everyone - its been a while. I had to focus on finishing university, but now that's out of the way, I can focus on blogging again.

I have been struggling with my anxiety a lot over the past month. It has probably been triggered by exam stress, but I had my last exam on Tuesday and things seem to have taken a turn.

Last night, I had what can only be described as a breakdown. Unfortunately, this is not my first in life. I have only had about 2 hours sleep but the phrase "mind over matter" was stuck in my head, and I realised that I really hate cliches... this one in particular. What happens when your mind is your enemy?

So I wrote a poem about it. Its a bit of a rebellion against 'mindfulness'. Here it is.

PS: If you try to steal my writing, I will find you, and I will send you a crate full of adult colouring books as punishment.

Mind over Matter, Matters over Mind

What is the Matter? 
You ask as we chatter
Noticing my eyes glazing over 

Nothing is The Matter
Specifically, I stutter,
Its just that Everything is Matter in my Mind.

“Whatever is on your Mind won’t Matter in ten years time”
Your patter making my heart beat faster
But if nothing will Matter, why do we have a Mind?

I do not Mind your questions
I know the intentions are pure and the advice raw in the moment
But clich├ęs make my Mind go fuzzy and make me want to rewind

Back to a time when I didn’t have a Mind of my own
A conscious space to call home
Just a head on a body, simple Matter

It is hard to pay no Mind 
When your Mind has a mortgage 
For a semi-detached in a cul-de-sac 

No where for the Mind to run free
A dead end, a wall made up of Matter
Impossible to batter down or climb over.

So go ahead and tell me one more time
That life is beautiful and you can achieve if you believe
And that everything is Mind over Matter

I’m sorry but I cannot believe you
When the Matter in my Mind
Is heavier than the Matter at hand.

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