Tuesday, 7 January 2020

And Now I Am 23...

Me on New Year's Eve!

Today is my birthday. I am 23 today.

I don't particularly like birthdays. If I had a summer birthday, I would probably like it more. But being born a week after New Year's Day means that I often do my reflecting and make resolutions on my birthday instead.

So, the 7th of January has become my official start of the New Year. When reflecting on the previous year of my life, I normally think about the things I haven't done rather than what I have done. 

I haven't published a book yet. 

Or even finished writing one yet. 

I haven't got lots of money in the bank. 

I haven't become that successful person I envision myself as.

This year is especially hard for a couple of personal reasons. It would be really, really easy for me to slip into that depressive state like I do every year. The state I end up regretting every year.

So instead, I'm changing my tradition. Today, on my 23rd birthday, I am going to think about all of the things I have done over the past year:

  1. Went to therapy and actually got something out of it
  2. Went to a creative writing group and did my first ever poetry reading
  3. Took my first solo trip and had a great time in Paris
  4. Started my Masters degree
  5. Got a job at Waterstones (and I'm being kept on this time!)

This exact time a year ago, I never would have imagined that I would be this mentally strong (thanks, therapy!), this responsible for my own thoughts and feelings, and this settled in life. I have a schedule again, goals to work towards, and I am learning new things about the world every day. 

So, in honour of my New Year, here are my resolutions:

  1. Travel
  2. Continue to heal from the wounds that 2019 left
  3. Be fiercely grateful for the good things in life, however small
  4. Be loving to myself and others

Now, I'm off to go and watch Six the Musical! Have a wonderful day!